Dogs have a reputation for being loyal, loving, and endlessly devoted to their humans. But what if they weren’t quite so innocent? What if, behind those soulful eyes and wagging tails, our four-legged friends were hiding a few questionable habits of their own?
Imagine a Bedlington Terrier drinking away his troubles at an expensive hotel bar, a Borzoi gambling his inheritance at a high-stakes poker table, or a Chinese Crested with a shopping addiction and absolutely no intention of paying off her credit cards.
Welcome to a world where dogs have developed some very human vices, and they’re not particularly interested in changing their ways.
For this collection, we’ve taken 15 unusual dog breeds and imagined them as beautifully eccentric characters with terrible habits. Each one is brought to life through a distinctive piece of artwork, displayed in an equally remarkable interior. From dramatic oil paintings and vintage-inspired portraits to contemporary photography and surrealist compositions, the artwork is as much a part of the story as the dogs themselves.
Some are charming, some are ridiculous, and a few look like they probably shouldn’t be trusted with your wallet.
These are not the good boys and girls you’ve been warned about.
1. The Heavy Drinker – Bedlington Terrier
It’s been a long day, a longer week, and apparently the Bedlington Terrier has decided that one whiskey simply won’t do. Dressed in a rumpled three-piece suit, with his tie loosened and several empty glasses scattered across the table, he looks like a gentleman who’s made a few questionable decisions.
Displayed as an oversized oil painting in a sophisticated, dimly lit lounge, this weary little drinker brings an unexpected dose of dark humour to an otherwise elegant setting. Judging by his expression, tomorrow’s hangover is the least of his worries.
2. The Gambling Addict – Borzoi
With his aristocratic good looks, expensive velvet smoking jacket, and a cigar casually balanced between his fingers, this Borzoi looks like he was born to gamble. Surrounded by poker chips, playing cards, and a glass of whiskey, he’s either having the luckiest night of his life or preparing to explain why the family estate now belongs to someone else.
Displayed in an opulent casino lounge, this dramatic portrait captures a gentleman who clearly enjoys the finer things in life, particularly when someone else’s money is paying for them. Win or lose, one thing is certain: he’s not leaving the table until the last chip is gone.
3. The Shoplifter – Schipperke
Small, sneaky, and apparently blessed with expensive taste, this Schipperke has decided that paying for jewellery is entirely optional. Caught in the act of slipping a sparkling diamond necklace into a designer handbag, the little thief looks nervously over his shoulder, hoping nobody noticed. Unfortunately, subtlety has never been his strongest quality.
Set inside an exclusive jewellery boutique, this playful portrait captures a criminal mastermind whose ambitions far exceed his size. With a taste for diamonds and absolutely no respect for security cameras, he’s living proof that some dogs aren’t interested in fetching sticks when there’s something considerably more valuable to steal.
4. The Vainest Dog Alive – Xoloitzcuintli
Some dogs are happy with a quick bath and an occasional brushing. Not this Xoloitzcuintli. Dressed in an extravagant silk robe and surrounded by expensive skincare products, perfume bottles, and luxurious grooming accessories, he’s absolutely convinced that nobody in the room is more beautiful than he is.
Admiring himself in an enormous ornate mirror, this hairless little narcissist has apparently perfected the art of looking fabulous while doing absolutely nothing. The glamorous dressing room only adds to the absurdity, especially considering that most of his elaborate grooming routine involves a dog with practically no hair to groom. And judging by that expression, he’s not leaving until someone tells him how magnificent he looks.
5. The Compulsive Hoarder – Bergamasco Sheepdog
Some people collect stamps. Others collect coins. This Bergamasco Sheepdog collects absolutely everything, and apparently hasn’t thrown anything away since 1973. Surrounded by antique clocks, broken furniture, dusty books, old radios, and towering stacks of newspapers, he’s convinced that every single item will come in handy someday.
Looking remarkably pleased with himself in the middle of his overflowing collection, this shaggy hoarder has clearly mastered the art of finding treasure in other people’s rubbish. His extraordinary coat blends so perfectly into the clutter that you might not even notice him at first. And if you suggest getting rid of anything, he’ll happily explain why that broken lamp is a priceless family heirloom.
6. The Gossip Queens – Japanese Chin
Nothing travels faster than bad news, except perhaps a juicy piece of gossip shared between two Japanese Chins over afternoon tea. Dressed in extravagant gowns, feathered hats, and enough jewellery to embarrass royalty, these two society ladies have clearly gathered for something far more entertaining than tea and pastries.
One leans in to whisper the latest scandal while the other looks absolutely horrified, although there’s little doubt she’ll be repeating every delicious detail before dinner. Surrounded by fine china, silver teapots, and lavish furnishings, these fashionable troublemakers have perfected the art of discussing everyone else’s questionable behaviour while pretending their own lives are entirely respectable. And whatever you’ve heard, they know a much better version of the story.
7. The Road Rage Driver – Brussels Griffon
Some dogs love going for car rides. This Brussels Griffon loves them too, provided everyone else stays off the road. Behind the wheel of his vintage red convertible, wearing dark sunglasses, a flat cap, and a leather jacket, this furious little driver has apparently decided that traffic laws are optional and every other motorist is an idiot.
Cruising through the streets of Rome, he’s delivering a particularly rude gesture to someone who probably committed the unforgivable crime of driving slightly below the speed limit. With his scruffy beard, permanent scowl, and absolutely no patience, he’s the kind of driver who starts honking before the traffic light even turns green. And judging by that raised paw, he’s got a few choice words for anyone who gets in his way.
8. The Shopping Addict – Chinese Crested
Some dogs are satisfied with a new chew toy. This Chinese Crested prefers designer handbags, expensive shoes, and jewellery that costs more than most people’s monthly mortgage payments. Lounging on a luxurious pink velvet sofa in her silk dressing gown and oversized sunglasses, she’s surrounded by the evidence of another wildly successful shopping spree.
Unfortunately, her credit card company doesn’t share her enthusiasm. With overdue bills, final notices, and maxed-out credit cards scattered among her latest purchases, this fashionable little spendthrift has clearly mastered the art of living beyond her means. But why worry about financial responsibility when there’s another pair of fabulous shoes waiting to be purchased? After all, bankruptcy is temporary. Style is forever.
9. The World’s Laziest Dog – Clumber Spaniel
Some dogs spend their days chasing squirrels, exploring the outdoors, and looking for adventure. This Clumber Spaniel considers getting off the sofa an unreasonable demand. Sprawled across a luxurious velvet couch, surrounded by dirty dishes, discarded clothing, takeaway containers, and an overflowing laundry basket, he’s clearly decided that household responsibilities are somebody else’s problem.
A handwritten to-do list sits on the coffee table, with not a single task completed. The vacuum cleaner has been abandoned, the dishes are piling up, and the laundry hasn’t been touched in weeks. But none of that seems to bother our sleepy friend, who has perfected the art of doing absolutely nothing. He’ll get around to cleaning eventually. Probably tomorrow. Or next Tuesday. There’s really no need to rush these things.
10. The Compulsive Liar – Cirneco dell’Etna
Some dogs lie about who ate the last biscuit. This Cirneco dell’Etna has taken dishonesty to an entirely different level. Dressed in an expensive tailored suit and standing confidently behind a podium, he’s delivering a polished speech about how wonderfully everything is going. Unfortunately, the scene unfolding behind him tells a slightly different story.
A chandelier has crashed to the floor, smoke is filling the room, terrified assistants are scrambling to collect scattered documents, and several officials appear to be making a hasty escape. Yet our distinguished speaker remains completely unfazed, assuring everyone that the situation is entirely under control. With his enormous ears, perfectly rehearsed expression, and remarkable ability to ignore reality, he’s clearly destined for a long and successful career in politics. After all, why tell the truth when you can simply hold another press conference?
11. The Chain Smoker – Dandie Dinmont Terrier
Some dogs enjoy a little fresh air. This Dandie Dinmont Terrier considers it highly overrated. Slouched in a battered leather armchair at his favourite gentlemen’s club, with a cigarette dangling from his mouth and an ashtray overflowing beside him, he looks like he’s been smoking since the invention of tobacco.
Surrounded by thick clouds of smoke, old newspapers, and furniture that hasn’t been replaced in decades, this grumpy little gentleman has absolutely no interest in changing his ways. He’s heard every warning, ignored every doctor’s recommendation, and considers no-smoking signs a personal insult. With his magnificent fluffy topknot and permanently unimpressed expression, he’s living proof that some old dogs have no intention of learning new tricks. Especially when those tricks involve giving up cigarettes.
12. The Caffeine Addict – Peruvian Inca Orchid
Some dogs wake up full of energy. This Peruvian Inca Orchid hasn’t been to sleep long enough to find out. Sitting wide-eyed in a fashionable café, surrounded by a ridiculous number of empty espresso cups, he’s already consumed enough caffeine to keep an entire office building awake for a week. And judging by the cup trembling in his paw, he’s nowhere near finished.
With his enormous ears, slightly dishevelled clothing, and permanently startled expression, this jittery little coffee addict looks like he can hear colours and see into the future. The café staff have stopped asking whether he’d like another espresso because they already know the answer. Sleep is for the weak, decaf is an insult, and there’s always room for just one more double shot.
13. The Kleptomaniac – Norwegian Lundehund
Some dogs steal socks, slippers, or the occasional sandwich. This Norwegian Lundehund has considerably more expensive tastes. Hidden away in a secret attic, he’s surrounded by a remarkable collection of stolen jewellery, gold watches, silverware, antique coins, and valuable treasures that mysteriously disappeared from their rightful owners.
Dressed in a burgundy velvet waistcoat and sitting proudly atop an old wooden trunk, this charming little criminal looks remarkably pleased with his accomplishments. A wanted poster bearing his unmistakable face hangs nearby, but he doesn’t seem particularly concerned about getting caught. After all, he’s been collecting other people’s possessions for years, and nobody has managed to stop him yet. The most mysterious item in his collection? A set of false teeth that nobody wants to claim.
14. The Ultimate Narcissist – Löwchen
Some dogs enjoy being the centre of attention. This Löwchen believes the entire universe revolves around him, and he’s decorated his palace accordingly. Reclining on an extravagant golden throne, wearing a jewelled crown and an ermine-trimmed royal cape, he’s surrounded by enormous oil paintings, marble busts, and priceless sculptures, all featuring his favourite subject: himself.
Every wall celebrates his magnificence, every portrait captures his supposed greatness, and even the ceiling depicts angels honouring his royal presence. Modesty is clearly not among his many imaginary virtues. With his luxurious mane, regal expression, and complete lack of self-awareness, this self-appointed monarch has created a kingdom devoted entirely to his own ego. And if you’re fortunate enough to be granted an audience, he’ll probably expect you to bow. Twice.
15. The Master Procrastinator – Otterhound
Some dogs leap out of bed ready to tackle the day. This Otterhound prefers to tackle absolutely nothing. Fast asleep beneath his desk, surrounded by towering piles of paperwork, unanswered emails, empty coffee mugs, and a calendar full of missed deadlines, he’s clearly decided that productivity is somebody else’s problem.
A handwritten sign reading “Start Tomorrow” sits prominently on his desk, alongside sticky notes promising “Later” and “Maybe Next Week.” Reports are overdue, clients are waiting, and his to-do list grows longer by the hour. But our shaggy office worker remains completely undisturbed, enjoying another well-deserved nap after a particularly exhausting morning of avoiding responsibility. After all, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Or next month. There’s really no need to commit to a date.
Fortunately, Most Dogs Aren’t Quite This Bad
After all that drinking, gambling, shopping, stealing, and questionable behaviour, there’s some good news. Most dogs haven’t developed any of these terrible human habits.
Their worst offence is usually barking at absolutely nothing outside the living room window, stealing your favourite spot on the sofa, or waking the entire neighbourhood because a squirrel dared to cross the lawn.
And considering the alternatives, we should probably be grateful.
More Reading: Coffee, Cocktails, and Other Questionable Habits
Fortunately, most dogs aren’t spending their afternoons drinking espresso, ordering cocktails, or chain-smoking at a gentlemen’s club. But since we’ve explored what happens when dogs develop some truly terrible human habits, here are three related articles worth checking out.
- Coffee Is Better With a Dog – Unlike our caffeine-addicted Peruvian Inca Orchid, most dogs are perfectly happy to keep you company while you enjoy your morning coffee.
- Can Dogs Drink Wine or Beer? – Our whiskey-loving Bedlington Terrier might disagree, but alcohol and dogs are a dangerous combination. Find out why alcoholic drinks should never be shared with your pet.
- The Danger of Smoke Inhalation and Pets – Our chain-smoking Dandie Dinmont Terrier makes for an entertaining portrait, but exposure to smoke is no laughing matter for real dogs and cats.
