Summer had a good run.
There were naps in the sun, afternoons at the lake, road trips, camping adventures and several glorious weeks when nobody once asked whether the homework was finished.
But the backpacks are packed, the pencils are sharpened and the alarm clock has returned from its summer vacation.
It’s time to go back to school.
Of course, sending dogs to school creates a few complications. Some students are more interested in lunch than learning. The gym class gets competitive. The science experiments occasionally exceed expectations. And telling the teacher that the dog ate your homework becomes considerably less convincing when everyone involved is a dog.
From nervous kindergarteners and determined teachers to cafeteria workers, class clowns and one very familiar face outside the principal’s office, here’s what the first day back might look like if dogs were running the school.
1. The First Day
The backpack was packed last night.
Twice.
There are new pencils inside, a carefully labelled lunch and several things Mom insisted might be necessary despite nobody being entirely sure what they are.
Now our smallest student stands outside the enormous front doors watching older kids disappear inside.
Five minutes ago, he couldn’t wait to go to school.
Suddenly, staying home doesn’t sound so bad.
Mom promises she’ll be right here when the day is over.
He takes one more look back.
Then he goes in.
2. The School Bus
The route began peacefully.
That lasted three stops.
Now backpacks are everywhere, somebody has already changed seats six times and two puppies near the back are conducting an experiment involving a juice box that absolutely nobody authorized.
Our driver has seen worse.
He checks the mirror, closes the doors and pulls away from another curb while one parent continues waving long after her child has stopped looking.
Next stop.
3. Best Friends Reunited
They haven’t seen each other since June.
Technically, that’s only a couple of months.
Emotionally, it has been seventeen years.
One spots the other at the opposite end of the hallway.
Backpacks are abandoned.
Whatever conversation was happening is immediately forgotten.
Thirty seconds later, two best friends are celebrating their reunion with enough enthusiasm to block hallway traffic in both directions.
Summer was great.
But this is pretty good too.
4. The Kindergarten Teacher
At 8:30, every crayon was in its container.
The blocks were organized.
The little chairs formed a perfect circle.
There was even a lesson plan.
By 9:12, someone had painted a paw, somebody else had built a tower specifically so another student could knock it down, and one puppy was crying because his banana broke in half.
Our kindergarten teacher surveys the room.
She smiles.
There are still six hours to go.
5. The Overachiever
New notebook.
Perfect handwriting.
Every pencil sharpened to exactly the same length.
Homework finished, checked and placed neatly on the corner of the desk.
The teacher hasn’t completed the question yet.
The paw is already in the air.
Somewhere nearby, another student quietly decides they don’t like this dog.
6. The Kid Who Forgot His Homework
Everyone else has placed their homework on the teacher’s desk.
Our student is still searching his backpack.
Front pocket.
Side pocket.
Main compartment.
Back to the front pocket, just in case mathematics has changed since thirty seconds ago.
Nothing.
Eventually, he looks up.
“I had it last night.”
The teacher waits.
He considers his options.
“The dog ate it?”
The entire classroom stares at him.
He may need a better story.
7. The Class Clown
Every classroom has one.
The teacher is explaining something important at the front of the room.
Most of the students are listening.
At the very back, however, one dog has discovered that two pencils fit perfectly beneath his upper lip.
The student beside him notices.
Then another.
A wave of desperately suppressed laughter begins travelling across the classroom.
The teacher stops talking.
Slowly, she turns around.
The pencils disappear.
Nobody knows anything.
8. The Science Experiment
The instructions said three drops.
Someone added considerably more than three drops.
There is now foam climbing out of the beaker, across the table and toward the floor with an enthusiasm normally associated with volcanic activity.
One student is fascinated.
Another has wisely begun moving backward.
The teacher is approaching quickly.
For the record, everybody was wearing safety goggles.
So technically, some part of the lesson worked.
9. The Librarian
The library is quiet.
Beautifully quiet.
Books line the shelves. Afternoon sunlight falls across the reading tables. Somewhere in the corner, a student turns a page.
Then two puppies begin whispering between the shelves.
The librarian looks up.
The whispering continues.
She lowers her glasses.
Silence.
No words were required.
10. The Gym Teacher
There are few things more dangerous than giving twenty dogs a ball and then attempting to introduce rules.
Our gym teacher blows the whistle.
Nobody hears it.
One student is celebrating a spectacular catch. Another is arguing that it didn’t count. Three more are chasing a ball that isn’t actually part of the game.
Behind the bleachers, a small puppy has made the entirely reasonable decision to wait until volleyball.
Physical education builds character.
Apparently.
11. The Cafeteria
Today’s special has arrived.
Nobody is entirely certain what it is.
The cafeteria worker insists it’s perfectly good.
One student pokes it cautiously with a fork.
Another smells it.
A third has abandoned the official lunch entirely and is staring at an unattended sandwich two seats away.
Lunch lasts thirty-five minutes.
For some students, that is more than enough time to make several poor decisions.
12. The New Kid
The cafeteria feels much larger when you don’t know anybody.
Our new student sits at the end of a table with his lunch unopened, watching groups of friends laugh and talk around the room.
He pretends not to mind.
Then another dog walks over carrying a lunch tray.
There are plenty of empty seats elsewhere.
He chooses this one.
Sometimes the most important thing you learn at school isn’t taught in a classroom.
13. The Principal’s Office
He knows this chair.
This chair knows him.
Our student sits outside the principal’s office with his backpack between his paws and the relaxed expression of someone who has accepted that the morning has taken an unfortunate turn.
Through the glass, the principal is speaking to his mother.
Mom looks concerned.
The principal looks serious.
Our student looks down the hallway and wonders what’s for lunch.
This is not his first visit.
14. The Guidance Counsellor
Apparently everything is ruined.
His best friend sat with somebody else at lunch.
The person he likes hasn’t answered a message sent almost fourteen minutes ago.
There is a test on Thursday.
And his parents simply don’t understand anything.
Our guidance counsellor listens patiently from across the desk.
She has been working with teenagers for a long time.
She knows that by tomorrow, everything will probably be ruined for completely different reasons.
15. The Art Class
The assignment was to paint a bowl of fruit.
Our artist has created something considerably more ambitious.
There is blue paint on the desk.
Yellow paint on the floor.
Red paint on his nose.
A trail of multicoloured paw prints leads across the classroom toward an artwork that bears absolutely no resemblance to fruit.
He steps back proudly.
The teacher studies it.
Art is subjective.
Fortunately.
16. The Music Lesson
The band was supposed to begin together.
It did not.
The drummer is early.
The trumpet is late.
Someone appears to be playing an entirely different song.
And one enthusiastic student has decided the musical arrangement would benefit enormously from a long, heartfelt howl.
The music teacher lowers the baton.
Four years of university.
Nobody mentioned this.
17. The Substitute Teacher
The substitute enters carrying the attendance sheet and today’s carefully prepared lesson plan.
Twenty dogs stare back.
Nobody moves.
Nobody speaks.
For several seconds, the classroom is suspiciously perfect.
The substitute smiles.
Maybe this will be an easy day.
At the back of the room, the class clown slowly looks toward his friends.
The regular teacher really should have left a warning.
18. The Janitor
The final classes are ending when our janitor reaches the hallway outside the art room.
He stops.
There is paint on the floor.
There are paper towels stuck to something that should not have paper towels stuck to it.
One lonely sneaker sits beside a recycling bin.
Nobody is around.
He looks down the empty hallway.
Then at the mop.
Then back at the hallway.
Tomorrow, someone is going to explain this.
Tonight, apparently, he’s cleaning it.
19. The Final Bell
For seven hours, everyone has been told not to run in the hallway.
Then the final bell rings.
The doors burst open.
Dogs pour onto the front steps carrying backpacks, jackets, artwork and several items they definitely did not leave home with this morning.
Buses are waiting.
Parents wave from cars.
Best friends shout plans for tomorrow across the sidewalk.
School is over.
For approximately seventeen hours.
20. Tomorrow We Do It Again
The backpack made it home.
So did the lunchbox.
One shoe is missing, but that feels like tomorrow’s problem.
Our smallest student is asleep in the back seat before the car has travelled three blocks, his head resting against the backpack he was so nervous to carry through those enormous doors this morning.
Mom looks at him in the mirror.
The first day was big.
Tomorrow will be easier.
Probably.
See You Tomorrow
The first day back to school is a strange mixture of excitement, nerves, chaos and possibility.
For some kids, it means seeing friends they haven’t seen all summer. For others, it’s a new classroom, a new teacher or even an entirely new school. And behind every student are teachers, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, counsellors, custodians and countless others doing their best to make the whole wonderfully complicated thing work.
Our canine school may have slightly more barking, considerably more interest in lunchtime and a suspicious number of incidents involving unattended sandwiches.
But the important parts aren’t all that different.
New things will be learned.
New friendships will begin.
Mistakes will be made.
And somewhere, almost certainly, somebody will end up in the principal’s office.
To all the students, parents, teachers and school staff heading back for another year:
Have a wonderful first day back.
And don’t forget your homework.
The dog excuse isn’t going to work around here.
